YOUR FRIENDS
Your brain’s way of coping with all the hormonal stress you’re under comes from your happiness hormone, called oxytocin. A rush of oxytocin is the brain’s biggest neurological reward, and for teen girls nothing is more rewarding than connecting with friends. So the next time your mom asks why you won’t stop text messaging your bff or a guy asks why you and your ladies are all heading to the bathroom together, say you need an Oxytocin Fix. As I said before, however, you’re a little sensitive to other people’s opinion right now, which means friends can be a double-edged sword. Keep in mind these things about how you interact with your girls:
- Your oxytocin rushes center around talking, flirting and socializing. Just like you’ve been warned about the risks of abusing highs from drugs and alcohol, you can overdose on these activities, too. Part of getting older means learning how to balance responsibilities with what feels good. Homework will never be as fun as gazing into the starting quarterback’s puppy dog eyes and giggling with your pals about it later, but it has to get done.
- Your friends are constantly with you: on text, on Facebook, on the phone. It’s tempting to have your eyes glued to a screen all day. Make sure you’re still getting some personal time, as well as face-to-face time with the people who are most important to you.
- Girls love spending time together, but they can also be very competitive when it comes to guys and social status. This is also related to that estrogen-progesterone surge we talked about earlier. I talk at length about “Mean Girls” on pgs. 54-56 in “The Female Brain.” Some girls are more naturally predisposed to this tendency than others, but it can be fueled by social factors as well.
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